8 People You’ll Meet On Every Ski Trip (If You Belong to the Ridge Valley Ski Club)


If you've ever been on a ski trip (and it's through the Ridge Valley Ski Club) you know that there are a lot of characters up on those slopes! 

Here's a list of 8 people you will DEFINITELY meet on EVERY (Ridge Valley) ski trip! I'm sure that everyone (who belongs or has belonged to the Ridge Valley Ski Club) will recognize a few of these classic ski trip personalities!


Distraught Donald Sterling Apologizes for Clippers’ Poor Game 4 Performance


LOS ANGELES — After remaining silent for the past few days, Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling finally held a press conference this morning in which he sincerely apologized for what he called a “gutless and disgusting” game by his team on Sunday afternoon.

Sterling said that he takes full responsibility for the “careless and downright stupid” decision-making of the Clippers in their game 4 loss against the Golden State Warriors in Oakland.

Shocking Paternity Test Results Reveal Santa Claus is Not Father Christmas


STAMFORD, CT— Notorious red suit-wearing, world travelling gift-giver Santa Claus received some shocking news this week, when it was revealed to him that he was in fact not Christmas' father.

After years of Claus' denial that the holiday was his own, he was finally proven correct during an appearance on the Maury Povich Show where a paternity test absolved him of all responsibility of December 25th. 

What if Men Wrote Advice Columns?

We've all read advice columns written by women. Dear Abby, Ann Landers, The Advice Goddess... you know, columns where people write in saying stuff like "my husband is cheating on me, what should I do?" and then Abby or Ann will give them advice like "you should find out for sure and if he is, you should have a serious discussion with him and demand he respect you." You know, stuff like this...



But what if these columns weren't written by women but were written by another gender entirely? What if they were written by men? I don't think its too much of a stretch to say that they would be a little different

Here's a little sample of what we imagine would be some of the changes if men wrote advice columns instead of women...  

Sudanese Prisoners Awaiting Execution Agree that "4:20 is the Best Time to Get Stoned"


SUDAN— According to a poll of Sudanese prisoners facing death by stoning, 4:20 is by far the most popular time of day to be pelted with rocks by angry, bloodthirsty mobs. 

The information comes from a survey in which the prisoners were asked which time they would prefer to undergo their stoning execution out of the following selection of times: 1:30, 2:00. 2:30. 3:00. 3:30, 4:00, 4:15 and 4:20.

BREAKING: Vatican Considering Also Electing New God


VATICAN CITY—With the date of the conclave to elect a new pope now set, cardinals from across the world have been meeting to discuss the future of the Catholic Church, a conversation which has apparently sparked interest in the possibility of also electing a new god.

According to inside sources from the Vatican, the Church is "seriously considering" replacing the god that has led their faith for the past infinite amount of years.

Seth MacFarlane Declared the Worst Oscar Host Since Whoever the Last Oscar Host Was


THE INTERNET—Following this year's Academy Awards, on the one day a year when all journalists, bloggers and twitter users become comedy experts, the online community has officially declared the event's host, Seth MacFarlane, to be the WORST OSCAR HOST OF ALL TIME, taking the place of whoever it was that hosted the Oscars last year.

Despite clearly being given a fair chance by all online critics, MacFarlane's performance was ultimately dismissed as crude, offensive, sexist and a DISASTER after he finished telling his first joke. 

Local Man Tattoos Family Crest on Bicep as a Tribute to Being Totally Jacked


YOUR REGION—After careful thought and deliberation, a local man has decided to make a permanent mark in honour of his own ripped body by tattooing his family crest on his sweet, toned right bicep.

The tat belongs to Tom McElroy, a 22 year old worker at a nearby factory, who says that he got the tattoo only a week after the death of his grandfather, when he finally reached his target weight of 215 pounds.