With the year winding down and the holidays approaching quickly, there's no better time to just relax, curl up next to a nice warm fire and destroy morally objectionable literature.
But with so many disgusting, morally bankrupt,
anti-Christian filth out there these days, how can you ever decide what
books to burn?
Lucky for you, SuperWhizBang! has compiled a list of the 5 most burnable books of the year. We didn't actually read any of them, but we're sure they're all ruining our otherwise perfect society!
5. The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling
J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter" series was filled with sorcery, witchcraft and an enormous amount of satanic blasphemy, all of which was pretty cool. Unfortunately in the process Rowling also inspired a generation of children to love reading and continue expanding their minds, which is unforgivable. Now she wants to do the same with adults? Don't delay in burning this book!
4. Fifty Shades of Grey
Apparently this book is disgusting and totally demeaning to women. Show your wife/daughter/mother how much you oppose disrespect towards their gender by doing what they couldn't figure out for themselves and burn their favourite book!
3. Any Books that Threaten Your Regime
Whether you're a communist dictator, a religious leader or a Khomeini, this is just a common sense move. Remember nothing brings people together quite like mass censorship!
2. The Hunger Games
Extreme violence? Blood and gore? Mild obscenities? All involving teenagers? Yes, that's right, it is an awesome book. But now that they've made a movie of it this year, it's pretty much useless and should be burnt immediately!
1. The Quran
This is a very sacred book which contains great stories that can be enjoyed by members of any faith in order to achieve a more meaningful and peaceful existence Nonetheless, based purely on it's size and material it is extremely flammable and therefore perfect for starting a fire that could, for example, help heat your community's less fortunate. I'm sure everyone would definitely understand, I mean, it's not like anyone would ever get worked up about a silly old book...
5. The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling
4. Fifty Shades of Grey
Apparently this book is disgusting and totally demeaning to women. Show your wife/daughter/mother how much you oppose disrespect towards their gender by doing what they couldn't figure out for themselves and burn their favourite book!
3. Any Books that Threaten Your Regime
Whether you're a communist dictator, a religious leader or a Khomeini, this is just a common sense move. Remember nothing brings people together quite like mass censorship!
2. The Hunger Games
Extreme violence? Blood and gore? Mild obscenities? All involving teenagers? Yes, that's right, it is an awesome book. But now that they've made a movie of it this year, it's pretty much useless and should be burnt immediately!
1. The Quran
This is a very sacred book which contains great stories that can be enjoyed by members of any faith in order to achieve a more meaningful and peaceful existence Nonetheless, based purely on it's size and material it is extremely flammable and therefore perfect for starting a fire that could, for example, help heat your community's less fortunate. I'm sure everyone would definitely understand, I mean, it's not like anyone would ever get worked up about a silly old book...
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