Distraught Donald Sterling Apologizes for Clippers’ Poor Game 4 Performance

LOS ANGELES — After remaining silent for the past few days, Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling finally held a press conference this morning in which he sincerely apologized for what he called a “gutless and disgusting” game by his team on Sunday afternoon.

Sterling said that he takes full responsibility for the “careless and downright stupid” decision-making of the Clippers in their game 4 loss against the Golden State Warriors in Oakland.

“It’s completely my fault and I’m very sorry about the way things went down in that game” Sterling told to the unusually packed crowd of reporters. “I was dealing with some personal issues this weekend, my girlfriend was… well, you know how women can be [laughs], anyway it was clear that the players struggled without me and for that I am very sorry.”

Sterling explained that his late response is due to the fact that he only got a chance to review the game footage today but that he was “absolutely sickened” by what he saw.

“They were sloppy right from the get-go” Sterling said shaking his head. “They couldn't even dress themselves properly, I mean, every single one of them wore their shirts inside-out for the warm-up, that doesn't bode well for success on the court.”

He went on to say how deeply hurt he was by the team’s lackluster defense and “ignorant” shot-selection.

“I’m really, really sorry to all the fans who had to sit through that game, especially the black ones… those people really know their basketball.”

Sterling ended his statement to the press, in which he did not allow any questions, by vowing to make things right with not only Clippers fans but the entire NBA.

“I promise you won’t see a performance like that from my team ever again” Sterling stated with authority. “I’m going to work as hard as I can to win this team and this city a championship, I don’t care what else is going on, what the media is saying, I haven’t paid attention to any of it.”

Sterling finally concluded with a personal guarantee to correct the situation and return to being the beloved multi-millionaire owner he once was.

“I’m going to focus on the basketball court and that’s it, that’s all that matters to me. I don’t care what happens, I’m going to be courtside tonight and won’t miss another game. My word is my bond and I would never say anything, even in private, that I don’t truly believe from the bottom of my heart. ”

Sterling then shushed an anxious reporter in the front row  who seemed to have breaking news and a said “every game, for the rest of my life, I’ll be here.”